We all do this don’t we? We compare ourselves to others all the time, be they friends, family, work colleagues, people in the gym, yoga class and let’s not forget those models and movie stars!
We compare our intelligence, our abilities, our looks, shape, size, bums, busts especially with those models in magazines who have been photo shopped to within an inch of their lives and movie stars who have the equivalent of your weeks make up on their face and in clothes that most of us could never afford. No wonder they look good!
So why do we do it? I’m guessing that comparisons have been rife all our lives as we are compared as babies, are they growing at the right rate, feeding as well as your best friend’s baby, as children during all of our school lives with tests, essay marks, exams and degrees? So we just carry that burden around with us all our lives and treat it as second nature.
But is it good for your wellbeing? No way! Comparison brings you down, depletes your energy and you generally feel a whole lot worse than you did before you started the comparison. To say nothing about the downward spiral you probably will go on once you have started. What might have been a quick glance at something that made you compare yourself to that thing, can quickly become a comparison to a string of things that might have been on the ‘stuck record loop’ that is often running around in our heads.
So how do we stop it? Good question and a difficult one to do because as I said it is often on that unconscious loop we have going on in our heads. Realising you are doing it and internally saying to yourself STOP can help. Writing down everything you are comparing yourself about and with who, is a good way as you will probably see straight away that these comparisons are all in your head and that there is no real evidence to support it.
However I want to propose a question. Is there a time when comparison can be good for you? If, for example you visit someone and you love their furniture and the way their house is arranged. You immediately compare it to your house that is looking very shabby and untidy. What if that comparison motivates you to go home and do something about it because you know that it is something that you have wanted to do for a while but not got round to it. Is that comparison good as it’s spurred you into action?
What do you think? Have you been a situation where this has happened? What did you do? What do you feel about comparison? Has it really got you down sometimes and what did you do to change it if anything or did you just let it drift on and on. Are you still doing it now?
Looking at the two photos I have included did you immediately start comparing yourself to one or the other? Let me know what your reaction was.
Your feedback is greatly appreciated.
Want to have well-being in your life and interested in engaging in Well-being Coaching with Cheryl?
Please visit https://nightingaleclinichampton.co.uk/transformational-coaching-intensives/ for further information
If you would like to receive a weekly uplift into your inbox just sign up here: http://eepurl.com/bwmgXX. My weekly ‘Words of Wellbeing’ is designed to uplift and inspire you to feel more well-being and happiness in your life.