Does this sound familiar to you?
- I should get this or that done today.
- I should go to this event/function/family occasion.
- I should have done this or that.
How does it make you feel? Do you think that kind of statement is good for your well-being or not?
What about if you changed it to:
- I could do this today as I choose to do it.
- I could decide not to go to that event/function/family occasion and that would be okay.
- I could have done that but as I didn’t I can now let that go.
How does this make you feel? Is this statement good for your well-being or not?
When we use the word ‘should’ we put an enormous amount of pressure on ourselves as it doesn’t allow for any leniency and is dis-empowering. It also usually comes from demands outside ourselves. By this I mean that we think we ‘should’ be doing or behaving in a certain way.
When we use the word ‘could’ it is in fact giving us a choice which means that you get to choose what you want to do rather than doing something because you think you should do it and is more self-empowering.
Are you willing to drop the ‘should’ in your sentence and replace it with ‘could’? How would that feel to you? Is it scary? Try giving it a go and see how that fits with you. Do you feel better using a more empowering word like ‘could’? Let us know how you got on and do remember to give yourself a big pat on the back if you gave it a try.
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